My Word of the Year for 2018

Perhaps it's a bit late to be writing a word of the year post. This one particular post for me is always late, usually because I only get to slow down and think about it after the craziness of the holidays. This year we've been sick since Christmas and no one feels like writing about goals while one is laid up with the flu. But we are finally starting to get better around here though and I'm finally feeling more myself.

As I stand here in the new year and look back at 2017, realize what a wild ride it was. There were so many challenges and stressors that we never anticipated. Not only did we have the normal stressors of work, school, and family, but we unexpectedly bought a house too.

I overwhelm very easily. Some days I wake up overwhelmed. When I'm like this, I retreat into myself and become frustrated at the slightest thing that dares disturb my desire for peace(like noisy little boys). I've been living haphazardly, hoping everything would just work out eventually.

This year, I'm working to change that.

My word of the year for 2018 is intentional.

Most people seem to have their biggest dreams when they are younger. I, on the other hand, was pretty content with a more mundane family life. I accepted that as what I should do and I was ok with it.

But here's the thing-

As I've gotten older, I've also acquired some pretty big dreams. Things I had maybe dreamed of doing at one point or another when I was younger, but that my fear of failure has stifled.

Rather an inconvenient time for a stay-at-home mom.

We bought a house that needs to be renovated that we're not even living in yet, I'm staying home to homeschool my boys(one of whom is the complete opposite of me; quite the challenge for someone who avoids conflict like the plague), I'm working towards a degree in Interior Design, I've picked up crochet and knitting, and I'm a writer. I'm hoping I'll even manage to write a few books eventually.

I mentioned that I get overwhelmed easily, didn't I?

For years I've been retreating into my conflict and failure avoiding self, and hoping everything will fall into place.

It won't.

I'm not a type A personality. I will never be one. But I can be intentional. I can move little stones every day and eventually move a mountain.

Coffee always helps too.

What does being intentional look like in my life? So far, it's meant establishing a 1 hour playtime for the boys in their room right after lunch so that I can recoup my sanity as well as get some blogging work done. It means putting my foot down more with the kids even when I'm scared of the conflict that will inevitably come.

It means more sleep and less TV for all of us and making myself write something every day, even if it's only for 5 minutes.

And you know what?

It's going better than I expected. Because I feel more in control, I find that I'm not as overwhelmed. My house still looks a little cluttered and I'm still struggling to find the new Christmas toys a home, but at least I have a vision and a methodical sort of way to get there.

So that's my goal for 2018! What's yours?

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