Life As We Know It

Photo by Kelly Sikkema on Unsplash

This post has been a long time coming and it's been percolating in my head for a while. It's been years since I have written a post but this blog has never been far from my mind. I always knew I would come back to it someday.

I just knew I couldn't write until I had a more settled understanding of myself and my family. 

After our big move to Michigan a few years ago, I was dealing with a severe back pain issue along with all the post-move adjustments that came to our family. I was depressed and anxious and so were my kids. My husband was dealing with a new job. It was too much. 

I burnt out.

It was a dark and hazy time for me. I don't know how much further to get into it than that because I have no clue where the TMI line is. But there have been a lot of things to work through and I've made some self-discoveries. Now I feel like I'm finally functioning fairly normally again. 

In the midst of it, we've been the process of seeking diagnoses for my neurodivergent kiddos, along with navigating therapies, IEPs, and homeschooling. And Covid. 

Still not sure how we caught that one.

So, I'm still here. I stink at sharing personal stuff and writing lengthy blog posts but I do have plans to blog more often. I'm also trying my hand at fiction writing so I may start sharing some of that as well. 

If you're still here following along after a three year break, you can leave me a comment and let me know! 

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New Year, New House

Last year I kinda sorta gave up on writing. Not completely though because I'm stubborn. And because I do so love writing, especially research papers(totally not being sarcastic, I love research papers).

Yet here I am again.

Because I'm stubborn.

I'm certain that my innate stubbornness is one of the main reasons I made it through last year. It's been nearly that long since my last post and so much has happened in that time. It's been a year full of stress, anxiety, depression, pain, and upheaval. 

Last summer, we said goodbye to Virginia and moved to our place in Michigan. When we first bought it, we didn't expect to live there a long time but then Hubby made a career change and everything happened rather suddenly. We are currently living in the basement since we already had renters upstairs. 

I suppose it's a good size for a basement but coming from a two story house to a basement has definitely been an adjustment. There are some things I've enjoyed about it though. I can hear the boys playing from wherever they are, I'm forced to only unpack what I need and live simply, and there's no stuff gathering on the stairs for me to put away(I feel like much of my time in our last house was spent going up and down stairs). 

The cons are that I can still hear the boys playing from wherever they are, I can't unpack all my stuff so there are boxes everywhere, and all our stuff just gathers on the pool table instead. The sink and dishwasher is miles away from the actual kitchen area and I think that's my biggest issue so far.

The view of the backyard makes up for a whole lot.

I wish I had more before pictures of the house. My phone broke after the move so I lost some of my pictures but I did manage to salvage a few photos. Excuse the horrible photography. I'm pretty sure that my old phone had the worse camera ever. These are all from the basement the day we moved in. I shared more upstairs pictures back when we first bought it.

We had so much help from family to get it cleared and ready. There's no way we could have done it all on our own. They cleared out trash, donated stuff, ripped out carpet, moved furniture, and cleaned everything in the couple weeks before we arrived. Someone even loaned us their RV for us to live in while we got things more livable in the basement.

I feel like this move has been good for us in a lot of ways. There's that feeling of starting over brand new, everything clean and free of expectations. The property is quiet and secluded; I'm already attached to this small city and its slower pace. I feel more at peace now than I have in a long time, even if there is a Ratatouille situation in my attic.

We've fought off stinkbugs, met the local fire department, and survived Arctic temperatures. I even bought myself a puffy coat and snow boots, things I never thought I would own. I guess we're Michiganders now after all.

I'm excited to see where it leads us.

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5 Things You Might Not Know About Me

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I'm not much of a voluntary sharer. I probably should have thought about that a little more before deciding to write and publish anything but here we are! And I'm so glad you are. I don't write this kind of post very often. I tend to have a hard time finding that happy medium between too little and too much info sharing so I'm hoping that I've managed to do that without completely embarrassing myself!

Some of you that have been here a while may have picked up on some of my quirks already but I know there are some new readers here too. Since you are here to read my words, I'd like you to get to know the person behind them!

To start with, I've been married to my wonderful, fellow introvert Hubby for 8 years and we have two boys that we are currently homeschooling. I'm working my way toward a degree in Interior Design while also attempting to figure out my path as a writer and watching way too many superhero TV shows.

Here are 5 other things that you might not know about me.

1. I'm a highly sensitive introvert.

With a touch of social anxiety and a face that always looks grumpy. Not such a great combination for winning friends and influencing people. Writing works better for me. You can't see me unintentionally glaring at you behind this screen and I get time to think through my words without those weird stops when I glance out into space. Win-win for all of us!

I have my difficult moments in our extroverted culture but I do love being an introvert.

2. I have a weird fascination with birds.

I'm not sure that I like birds. I don't even want a bird(ok, except for chickens but that's only because they make me eggs and I need those to make cake). However, I do like to watch birds and identify them. Doing a "Big Year" sounds like a great way to spend some time. The movie, The Big Year, with Steve Martin, Jack Black, and Owen Wilson, is one of my favorites.

I am fully aware of my weirdness.

3. I'm a nerd.

And a Hufflepuff.

I'll read or watch pretty much anything, from sci-fi to fantasy to the classics. I was always the studious kid that (mostly) followed the rules and got good grades. Last week, I received an A- on a paper for my art history class and then proceeded to grouse about it all day.

Hubby was not sympathetic.

And I kinda feel like I'm the odd mom that has no problem with the husband and kids playing video games. Probably because I'm playing them too. Ask me about my level 29 wood elf with super sneak and mad archery skills.

4. I broke a personality test.

I'm not talking about those random "What Disney Princess are You" quizzes. I'm talking about those free tests on supposedly reputable personality profiling sites. I took the test and, after calculating my answers, I was told that the algorithm couldn't figure me out. I get a different answer on every test I take and I've been typed as every introverted type at least once.

Based on my obsession with research of the Myers-Briggs personality typing and after taking pretty much every single free test out there, I've come to the conclusion that the "I" is strong with this one and that every other letter is extremely balanced. Based on cognitive functions, I believe that I may have finally found a home in the ISFJ camp, although sometimes I relate to the INFJ type as well.

As far as the Enneagram goes, it confuses me but I think I'm a 6? Or maybe a 9? With some 4 thrown in somewhere? My best guess is that those three make up my tritype.

If that means anything to any of you, yay! If it doesn't, Feel free to ignore my crazy rambling. I hope you'll stick around here anyway!

5. I can't really pick a favorite book but if I had to... 

I would have to pick The Scarlet Pimpernel by Baroness Orczy. Set during the French Revolution, it's just got that right mix of history, fiction, romance, action, suspense, and cleverness. I also highly recommend the movie version with Anthony Andrews, Ian McKellen, and Jane Seymour. 

Two more book favorites are Sense and Sensibility by Jane Austen and The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy by Douglas Adams.

So that's five things about me!

Due to school and family, I don't get as much time to work on projects and write as I have in the past. However, the boys are getting bigger and sometimes they can play with each other without needing a referee so I grab those times when I can.

Thank you for being a reader. It means so much to me that you are here despite my inconsistent posts. My life is crazy just like yours so I'm glad we can journey this together and maybe make a pretty home along the way!

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My Word of the Year for 2018

Perhaps it's a bit late to be writing a word of the year post. This one particular post for me is always late, usually because I only get to slow down and think about it after the craziness of the holidays. This year we've been sick since Christmas and no one feels like writing about goals while one is laid up with the flu. But we are finally starting to get better around here though and I'm finally feeling more myself.

As I stand here in the new year and look back at 2017, realize what a wild ride it was. There were so many challenges and stressors that we never anticipated. Not only did we have the normal stressors of work, school, and family, but we unexpectedly bought a house too.

I overwhelm very easily. Some days I wake up overwhelmed. When I'm like this, I retreat into myself and become frustrated at the slightest thing that dares disturb my desire for peace(like noisy little boys). I've been living haphazardly, hoping everything would just work out eventually.

This year, I'm working to change that.

My word of the year for 2018 is intentional.

We Bought a House!

We really did this crazy thing.

We bought a house.

And not just any old house. This one is special. This house was built by Hubby's grandpa on 24 acres of land in Michigan.

Yes, we are crazy. No, we are not moving.

So how did this happen?

Last summer, Hubby's grandparents were planning to sell their house as they didn't need to be on their own anymore. It's a beautiful place that has always been special to Hubby and we were devastated that it might leave the family. We figured there was no way we could afford to buy it, especially with the amount of land that came with it. After discovering the actual estimate was much lower than we expected but still more than we could manage alone, we asked our family for help.

To make a long story shorter, we were able to save it.

Although we are now broke, we are so happy about this unexpected turn of events! The bones of the house are good but it does need some work. I'm still trying to wrap my head around it and figure out how we are going to make this work with us still renting our current place in a completely different state.

We really want this place to stay in the family for generations to come!

How We're Homeschooling this Year

It's time again! We are heading back to school! Technically, I did have a math class over the summer so I really just got a few weeks break before the fall semester. Good thing I love school.

This year I'm taking Art History. It will be so much fun after almost two years of math classes(you can read more about why it took so long here). I only have two more general education classes to go before I start my interior design classes next year.

This is also the first school year of officially homeschooling our little kindergartener!

Last year we enrolled him in a program called Classical Conversations and we are still doing that this year, but this is the first year we are required to notify the state of our intent to homeschool. Last year, we were just trying out new things. This year, it's for real.

So what exactly are we doing schoolwise?

Positive Negativity

If you have ever seen the movie Inside Out, you know the story is from the perspective of five emotions in the head of a girl named Riley: Fear, Anger, Disgust, Sadness, and Joy. The emotion in charge, Joy, can always find the bright side of anything and tries her best to make sure everything is always upbeat and happy. One of my favorite things about the movie is that it showcases the importance of all the human emotions and the roles they play in our lives.

15 Lessons to Learn by 30

This month I turned 30.

For me, birthdays are usually not too different from any other day. I'm not sentimental about them and, since I prefer to avoid being the center of attention, I'm perfectly fine with letting them go by with little to no fanfare. Except this one. When I reached 30 it hit me hard. Much harder than I thought it would.

I've been married almost seven and a half years and it really doesn't feel that long. In the next seven and a half years, I'll be nearing 40. The realization of just how fast time goes now that I'm older, the pants that fit tighter than they did last year, a week of sick kids plus sleep deprivation, all added up to one bad day.

So I started doing what I normally do when I'm stressed. I made a list. A list of 15 lessons that I've learned in 30 years. I filled in with posts from my Instagram account because I was lazy for something different than my usual photos. Just for fun.

1. It's ok to start a project or hobby and then quit if you fall flat on your face. You learned something about yourself even if all you learned was that you weren't good at it.

2. How to make my own phone calls and schedule appointments.

3. Coffee is amazing. I'd also like to add that I began adoring coffee before it was cool. It's better hot anyway.

The best part of waking up is seeing this every morning. And every afternoon. At night it's just cruel. #coffeelove #drinkallthecoffees @realinspired

4. It's possible to outgrow friendships, especially as you get older and your interests and values change. You may always be friends and love each other deeply, but you might not be as close. It is sad but it is also ok.

5. You don't ever have to give up on your ideals or quit hoping for their realization.

The Sherwin Williams guy took pity on me and gifted me with this. It's a dream come true! I was sqealing over it for the rest of the day! #colornerd #ilovepaint by @realinspired

6. Public speaking isn't the end of the world(but I'd still rather jump in a pit of nonvenomous snakes).

7. It's ok to be introverted. If someone thinks less of you because of it then it's their problem, not yours. You are not broken; our culture is.

8. Read anything and everything. Never stop.

When #bookworm loves #harrypotter and #cslewis. Oh, the irony...@realinspired

9. Broken hearts heal. They might not forget, but they do stop hurting.

10. Trust your intuiton.

11. Perfection is impossible. Strive for it but be ok with falling short.

12. You have to make your kids do things themselves. It's so hard to implement in real life and I still fail at it, but I know I have to allow them to fail or fly on their own.

13. Marry your best friend. Someone with similar interests that understands you and loves to let you be you.

I don't usually get all sappy and share this kind of thing, but this is my Valentine gift from hubby. I share it because it made me cry and gifts usually don't do that. This one did because this man encourages me to pursue my dreams and try scary things. He's the reason that I'm finally finding my voice and writing the daydreams I've carried in my heart my entire life. He makes me feel brave enough to try. I'm so glad I married my best friend! by @realinspired

14. You have to be that kind of person for the person you marry too. It goes both ways.

15. Listen. Listen when people talk. Listen when they're hurting or disagree with you. Really listen. Sometimes that's all you can do or all anyone needs. You might learn something in the process too.

When I was little, I thought home improvement stores looked like places where dreams came true. That's still what I think at 30. by @realinspired

Here I am at 30.

Do you have any lessons you have learned that you could add to the list? Want to follow on Instagram? Follow this link to the Real Inspired Instagram account!

I Give My Kids Playdough

I give my kids playdough.

Not just on rare occasions. I'm talking every single day if we happen to have it in the house. I buy playdough as often as I buy groceries. It gets tracked over the carpet and, on occasion, it has even made its way upstairs. It ends up on the bottom of shoes, contributes to the daily loads of laundry, and at 5 and (nearly) 3 years old, my boys still aren't convinced that they can't eat it.

Sometimes I have to sweep it up every day. Sometimes I dont feel like sweeping the floor 20 times in 24 hours. Sometimes I give it a couple days and let it build up into a little minefield of dry playdough rocks.

May the odds be ever in your favor if you happen to drop by unannounced.

So why do I torture myself thus?

45 minutes, all to myself.

Ok, probably closer to 30 but that still gives me time to do the dishes. Or not, because Pinterest. Pinterest and coffee. The winning combo.

It makes kids happy which means I usually don't have to hear any fighting for a while. Boys seem especially drawn to things they can smash, crumble, and make into Star Destroyers. If I have to pick between sanity or a house sans smashed playdough, I'll pick my sanity every time. The mess is worth it to me. When I'm caffeinated and sane, everyone's a lot happier anyway.

I'm not even really sure why I felt the need to talk about this except to say that it's ok to have constant messes to clean up. You can have happy kids and make a home that's comfortable and welcoming, even if you have playdough smashed into your carpet occasionally. It's fairly easy to clean up anyway.

So take a deep breath, pull out the playdough, and just let 'em play.

Life These Days

Hi everyone! I hope you all have had a great holiday season! I know it's been a while since I've written anything. I have very much missed writing but as the school year started, life got busy. I started my classes at the community college and I've been working hard to stay on top of the homework.

So, an update on life these days...

Little Man has his own classes now too. He is taking a tap dance class and is enrolled in a Classical, Christian homeschool program called Classical Conversations. He is loving it and I can't believe that my first baby is old enough to start school already! He's a tough, independent, little fighter who loves to argue and march to the beat of his own drum so I'm praying that my nerves and skills can handle teaching him.

So, along with all my math homework, every day with the kids, all the classes, exercise time, and the normal housework, there hasn't been a whole lot of time for anything else. I know math is good for my brain but it turns it into mush first! All my thinking power and extra time have been going into it.

The last few months I've been going to bed after midnight and waking up at or before 6:30. In between, I don't sleep well because both boys still wake up at least once or twice at night. I'm exhausted, cranky, over-caffeinated, and plagued by migraines. I'm pretty sure I went a couple weeks without vacuuming somewhere in there.

I haven't been able to do everything and I've been beating myself up over it.

Today I am done.

I've had to struggle through many days and a lot of emotions to finally come to terms with this stage of life. I want to write more but I can't right now. I want to decorate for all the seasons and work on little projects around the house but I can't do that right now either. I've been trying to do it all and I just can't.

I am not giving up on writing or blogging, I'm just giving myself permission to not post if I can't find the time or mental energy. I'm giving myself permission to not decorate anything. If all I can do is wash laundry, make food, love on all my boys, and work on homework, then that's ok.

I do have some new ideas tumbling around in my head and I may have some extra time this week ao maybe I can get a new post up soon!

Lots of love to those of you that are still hanging around here! I am thankful for you!

My Mommy Survival Kit

Sometimes I wonder about my sanity. We all do, right? Mommy can only take so much little chatter and interaction. My sensitive, introverted self just can't take it after a while.

I love my boys. But boys are so LOUD and rough. Throw in the strongest will ever and some days I just don't know what to do. I am so grateful for my husband because he understands how I am and knows when I need a break.

A tired and overwhelmed mommy is a cranky mommy and so I have a few things I do to help me stay sane. More sleep is always a given. Sometimes you get more, sometimes you get less, but even the best night's sleep can't always combat the crazy. That's why I make sure I also focus on doing these seven things.

That Time I Could Have Lost My Eye

This will be my first post in two months. Many bloggers do take a break from time to time and I've done the same myself, but this particular break was not my choice. I couldn't even get on the computer to tell anyone what was going on.

I could have lost my eye.

Or at least my vision.

Now maybe that's the dramatist in me coming out because none of my doctors ever mentioned it, but when your eye has two different infections going on at once that aren't getting better despite weeks on several different medications, you know that it's a possibility.

2015 Word of the Year

Happy New Year! I hope you all enjoyed ringing in the new year! We did not intend to stay up until midnight but we ended up reading, writing, and watching several humorous episodes of Jeeves and Wooster and The Big Bang Theory. I came away thinking, as I always do, that I need a Jeeves in my life. An immaculately dressed British valet doing all my housekeeping and fixing everything I mess up?

Where can I get one? Can I get one that comes with a blue police box?

Ahem.

Anyway, now that I've wandered off into nerd-dom and probably lost half of you, I want to bring up one of my favorite things to do for the new year. Every year, I pick a Word of the Year. A Word of the Year is a goal of sorts. It is a word to define one's hope for, and approach to, life in the coming year. I started doing it a few years ago after I started blogging and saw all the cool bloggers doing it.

Cool bloggers pick a Word of the Year. I'm cool and I'm a blogger. That makes me a cool blogger too which means I can pick a Word of the Year. Something like that.

Home Goals 2016

You want to know something really unfortunate? My new goals for our home look very much like they did last year. Ok, totally like they did last year. I think I got maybe two things done off of last year's list. I suppose that I just got worn out with life, the universe, and everything. I did get some decluttering done, though not as much as I would have liked.

So this year, I have all these ideas that are mainly built on last year's unaccomplished goals. I like to call them "rollover goals." Too many of my everyday to-do lists are like this, which is also unfortunate.

The lists for 2015 and 2016 may be very similar, but I'm always getting more ideas so the execution will not be what I originally imagined last year. I also get to mark a couple things off the list, like completing the boys' room. Here's what's next on the list!

1. Storage for the powder room.

If I had the money this year, I love to replace the old medicine cabinet with a mirror, put in new lighting, and put in an outlet that's not connected to a light fixture. Since that's not going to happen, especially since we're renting, storage is the next thing this little room needs. 

New Steps

Well, folks. Life is about to take an interesting turn for me. This week, for the very first time, I begin my first semester at community college. I've finally got up the gumption to go for it!

A couple years before Hubby and I were married, I attempted college but chickened out at the last minute. I did a few academic things in between then and now but I never tried college again. One of the local community colleges offers an associate degree in interior design so I have my sights set on that. Maybe I'll go for a full 4 year school after that but for right now I'm just taking this small step.

Discard

Picking one word that will define the direction of the year can be daunting. As much as I loved having a word for 2014, I never picked out a word of the year for 2015. I thought about it many times but never got around to deciding on one that felt right. So, here I am talking about my newly picked word about 8 months too late.

Discard. 

That's about how this year is going. I'm discarding stuff I don't love, style ideas, hurts, and fears. I'm trying to anyway. It sounds like a rather melancholy word of the year and I suppose it could be, but it is also a freeing one.

Current Reads

It's been a while since I shared my very first and last post on my current reads. Last time I was only reading one book. I think it was Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows. This time I'm reading five.

I've never been someone that reads several books at once. I'm still not. I'm actually not sure how it happened. I don't have a lot of time to read just one, which is probably why it's taking me so long to get through these.

It's very rare that I pick up nonfictional books and here I have three! From top to bottom:

1. Gone with the Wind: I've watched the movie and now it's time to read the book. That Scarlet though. I kinda want to slap her silly.

31 Days to Less Clutter: 5 Tips for Knowing What to Keep

So now that we've let go of our clutter, how do we know what to keep? I've been going around the house purging like a crazy person and I have a few guidelines that I'm going by. Because you know I'd never go so far as to call them rules. I'm a rebel like that.

1. Has it been used in the past year? 

If you're aren't currently using it, it probably isn't something you love or need. Seasonal decorations don't come out but once a year and there may be an extra set of dishes that you keep put away for when you have visitors. There are some things I'm keeping that I'm not using yet but I know I will once I tweak it. Or once I've decluttered and made some space for it. If you have it you should be using it!

31 Days to Less Clutter: Let It Go

Sing it. You know you want to. I'll wait.

I'm probably the only mom that's not sick of hearing Let It Go. I have boys though so watching Frozen is punctuated by episodes of Star Wars. I ain't even bovvered. I love Star Wars and Disney movies so it's all good.

Anyway, it's been a long couple weeks for me. Long and crazy, without any opportunity to write. I had my plan for how the month was going to go and then Hubby's work schedule got crazy. He's been getting home well after the kids have gone to bed and I feel like I've barely seen him. All the housework has been happening after the boys are asleep which means I haven't had much time for writing.

Or decluttering.

31 Days to Less Clutter

Do you ever feel like stuff is taking over? I have recently been tossing a lot of stuff out but somehow clutter still seems to accumulate! And not just junk mail type clutter, pretty decorating things clutter!

I need my environment to be clean and simple, without a lot of tchotchkes taking up space. I do well when I start with a blank slate and add in things one by one. Sometimes. Many times I feel like I have to use every. single. thing. because it's pretty. Problem is, once they're all together, it is definitely not pretty to me. It's cluttered.